today, i was informed by the district partner of my restaurant that people have made sexual harassment claims against me. part of me knew that i’d get treated differently after making my allegations. another part knew there would be people other than those i reported who would stick by the aforementioned and ignore me. yet another part of me was quite aware there would be some form of retaliation. the smallest part of me expected men (who i am reporting for sexual harassment) to use my very own complaint against me. here’s the first one: manager shines flashlight on lint covering wooden surface that is invisible without flashlight, i say “it’s dust cum” or something along those lines, therefore sexualizing lint/dust along the lines of cum only being visible on walls with a blacklight. no one objectified or threatened. and the second one: someone said that i mentioned having sex with one of my coworker’s spouses. who’s spouse was this? well it was one of the men in my report, who had suggested to me after one week that if i had sex with his wife it wouldn’t be cheating, even if he watched, but maybe he would join in anyway if that was just how things progressed. one of my complaints against this man was that he made the suggestion that i have sex with another women while he watched and/or eventually joined in. that woman was his wife. so….utter bullshit on both accounts, yes? 

what concerns me is that people at my job seem to think that any sexual comment or behavior toward anyone can be considered sexual harassment. classless jokes and sexual harassment are very, very, very different things. someone tried to get me for harassment when i sexualized dust. and then someone tried to get me on the sexual suggestion that a man expressed to me. i reported harassment when these men consistently remarked on my ass, my desirability, and what they would love to do to me, TO MY FACE. i reported it after a young man snuck up on me and held plastic over my mouth when i was alone in the kitchen. 

do you see the difference? 

i feel that despite all the attention i’ve been getting from management over these issues, i’m  being taken as seriously as a man without any understanding of feminism could possibly take me. 

this shit is so hard to explain to men. if anyone has advice for me, please let me have it. i’m too petrified to lose my job that all i can do is shake with rage while i try not to cry and pretend i’m okay with “what they can do for the present,” 

i’m disgusted.













but actually

it worries me that i still have to work with the line cook who snuck up behind me and held plastic over my mouth when i was alone in the kitchen. 

my stomach drops when i see him. 

he didn’t say a word or interact with me at all tonight, which leads me to believe management has spoken with him. 

as far as i know, no one is being fired, which is partially what i wanted. but a man who physically attacked me is still allowed to work with me. tonight i used the darkened banquet room as a through-way to the bar and at the same time he was passing through the same route going the opposite direction. while in the space, he sat down with his phone and i quickened my pace to avoid him. i don’t feel safe around him. 

do i need to accept their decision to not punish anyone and go on dealing with being ostracized while still feeling unsafe around a coworker? 

i don’t know what to do. work is worse than ever. obviously nothing is being done. i don’t know what i should do. 

what’s the worst part of reporting sexual harassment 8 weeks into a new job?

the flimsy connections made between you and 80% of your coworkers dissolves.

people will treat you like a pariah, mostly because they are laboring under the misapprehension that you cry wolf and will turn any interaction into a sexual harassment trap.

people will ignore you.

people will fuck with your table checks whatever way possible.

people will make your ticket times twice what they should be.

it sucks.

i hate this job. i want to quit and go back to odessa and aqua sol. 

i want to scoop up my new friends eileen, charles, and luke and find us a non-shitty work environment.

i guess i got what i wanted, which was for the behavior to stop. now i just have to convince myself that doing the right thing for me and women like me was worth the alienation. 



Always reblog.

the three of these for president

(Source: visualpantheon)


since everyone called me wednesday, witch(craft), and evil demon, I think scarlet witch would be an appropriate character reference. 

these people who make these observations about me don’t know what it is that they want and it’s scarlet witch.


all i want to do is text my old dealer and tell him to get $40 worth of whatever he’s holding ready for me to pick up quickly at some point tomorrow. 

Captain America: The Winter Soldier Trivia Click gifs for more trivia in captions

(Source: avengetheangels)


So people in South Korea hate when North Korean refugees try to escape into South Korea

And alot of Americans be like “Why do they hate them, their trying to escape a dangerous oppressive environment” “How can they reject these people in need”

And in the same breath they say things like

"Immigrants are ruining America"

(Source: mrspookpants)


how to spot a fake geek boy: says deadpool is heterosexual

today may have been a turning point.

i’ve struggled to cope with everything that’s happened since the start of july, but today when i went to visit my mother for the first time since she returned from nevada, i realized i’m coming out of this better than before.

i have no fear anymore. my mom expressed how concerned she’s been about the emotional toll being taken on me, but i surprised myself when i answered that i’ve never felt more in power. the way grant treated my family was disgusting, but rather than crumbling, i’ve become more confident in the control i have over what happens to people who cross me. grant has lost his family forever, his home, and very soon i will make it so that he also loses his job, the respect and trust of his friends and colleagues, and the ability to find further employment with any respectable institution for the rest of his life. 

i told my mom that i take no shit from any man, and that (along with the support of my amazing dear one) made it possible for me to report sexual harassment at work. when she mentioned calling a locksmith soon to get the locks on the front door changed, i got my keys and drove us to the hardware store. we bought a new deadbolt, made a few copies of the key, went back to the house and installed it ourselves. it made me so happy to see her whole demeanor change once she took control of her own house and who had access to it. 

i feel like a superhero.


sweet dreams are made of bees
who am i, i’m made of bees
everything is made of bees
send help

(Source: frankensquad)

Caleb Wilde for president.


Salvador Dali ~ “The Stillness of Time”, 1975

Also known as “La Noblesse du Temps, Persistance de la memoire”, Dali infused this masterpiece with elements he depicted during his own lifelong obsession with sex and the fleeting passage of time. With the bravura of an Old Master draftsman, Dalí delineates with great flourish the figures flanking the melting timepiece.

Sensuously rendered, Venus stands at the left holding a mirror, an attribute for vanity and lust.  She is self-absorbed and seemingly unaware that she is entangled in Vulcan’s net. At the right sits an angel, a divine messenger of life and death, in contemplation before the keeper of time in our waking state. In the dream state, however, the watch or clock is no longer relevant; our reality has morphed the distortion of time and memories become obfuscated. <source>

Theme Urban, by Max davis.